Allow me to introduce you to my enemy....
This little bastard has been dogging me at every turn; emptying my bird feeders, chewing through the bungee cords that keep the food secure in the metal container I keep it in, and chasing off the native Douglas squirrels I had in my backyard.
For a couple of years after we moved out here in the country we never saw the little buggers.
Then one day while Hotness was at work, somebody trapped one that was getting into their warehouse and causing damage.
She thought, "I'll bring it home so we can have a squirrel in our backyard!"
When she told me this, I just about lost a gasket. "NOOOOO!!!!", I said, "Don't do that!"
I explained that they weren't native and since we didn't have them hanging around so far, I didn't want to invite trouble by bringing one home.
Yeah, well.... she didn't listen and brought it home anyway.
It had been in the cage all day at her work and then rode home (still in the cage) in the back of her truck all the way home.
It was pretty fairly traumatized to say the least. In fact, by that evening it was not looking very good and died by the next morning. (She tried to put a little dish of water and another with some peanut butter in the cage to help acclimate it, but to no avail)
I have to admit I was not saddened by this turn of events but Hotness was and went to bury it in the backyard out in the woods.
"I only wanted it to have a new home where it could live free and not in the city", she said.
"I appreciate the sentiment, but really... it wasn't a good thing for it to go through and since it's not native, it shouldn't have been introduced out here," I replied.
It must have been a 'squirrel seed' as not more than THREE DAYS after she buried it, we began to see these little feeder bandits at my bird-feeders and they've been there practically every day since. To the point that I no longer see any of the native squirrels that used to hang around here.
I'm hoping to find a way to rid my feeders of them soon. They are costing me a small fortune in replacing feeders and dumping seed all over the ground. Like I don't already have enough of a problem with the raccoons doing it either.
One thing I have not yet tried is using hot pepper flavored bird seed. If that'll keep both the raccoons and squirrels away... AWESOME.
Anyway, I just was out filling and repairing damage / squirrel-proofing the feeders when I thought I'd post about it and share my frustration.
Maybe somebody out there has a deterrent suggestion to offer.
I'm open to lethal force at this point, but I know others do not share this view so please keep any comments to an acceptable subject.
... and yes, I've seen the squirrel catapult. No, Hotness won't let me do it.
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Related squirrel news:
and just for fun:
3 things people had to say:
I am now going to devote an entire episode of my sadly-erratic pseudo-webcomic to the Squirrel King that Hotness accidentally kidnapped and the Knights of the Acorn Table that are now in hot pursuit.
Make sure your windows are thoroughly locked and that all venting systems are secure.
I would not screw with friends of the Squirrel King. RABIES.
Also, I hear rubber snakes will make squirrels go away. Although removing their food source and getting vaccinated for rabies is a good idea too...
Beware the Squirrel King's chief inforcer, commonly known just as "Moose."
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